WOMEN BETWEEN SOCIAL MANDATES AND VITAL CHOICES

Listen carefully, young lady:

You will wear a long mane being faithful to the archetype of your femininity, and display your face with a shimmering make-up together with polished nails as an evidence that you know how to love yourself. You will be delicate, modest and sweet. You will wield a thin silhouette of sharp curves that exude the sensuality of your nature and you will dress following the command of fashion extolling even more feminine "dowries" (to please the eyes of men and remain as the object of their desire, and to be envied by other ladies: your competition). As soon as some carelessness leads you to lose this impeccable image of feminine sovereignty, you will strive to recover it. Then you will hear a sigh of relief from your relatives and neighbors because "you have become the same as always" (the one that you must be).

You are called to find a man who is your "complement" (because he is completely masculine and you are completely feminine). A complement that completes you, of course, because you are not complete by yourself. And when you find him, you must cling to him for life. To him: your material and emotional providence, your intimate sustenance and public adornment.

It does not matter if you are unhappy in your relationship: you must show yourself in society (especially before family and social networks) with your best Christmas smile.

You will be a good housewife to please him (and your family in law). In addition, you will work to show that you are independent. Of course, on top of this you will be a mother, and you must assume all the roles at the same time with umblemished capacity of attainment (and your Christmas smile). When children leave home and the nest is empty, you will dedicate yourself to painting, singing or writing to redefine yourself (but only then, because your previous roles have already been precisely defined - though not always by you-).


As a contemporary Western woman, I consider that there is a valid and healthy question that we can give ourselves the space to formulate: Are we, the women of the New Millennium more free? Despite the appearance of freedom and greater gender equality, what parameters are we basing our concept of freedom on? We develop ourselves bounded by a heteropatriarcal system that rejects everything that defies its structure, an incisive system that threatens with expulsion at the face of inquisitiveness.

Today is the international day of women. If we celebrate the affirmation of being women, why not celebrate, too, the question about what makes us, really, be a woman?

How much space is given to a modern young lady to explore her vital possibilities, beyond the available mandates?

What options for personal fulfillment does a woman have beyond those established by biological "predetermination" and the expectations formulated by the social mandate?

The overexposure of the female body in the media: freedom of expression or mass reification allowed?

The acclaimed acrobatic dexterity displayed in the multiplicity of roles: self-realization or existential exhaustion due to excess of multitasking?

If I decide to exercise my sexuality in an alternative way to that established by the heteropatriarcal system, am I still a woman?

And if I decide alternatively, not to display my genitality, would I still be a woman?

We grow enveloped by a discursive line of thought (conditioned by the impact of the old ecclesiastical authority) in which homosexual choice is condemned as unnatural and even pathological - a conviction that has been openly refuted by modern science-.
The choice of celibacy is also disdained, for example, because genitality is weighted as a great vehicle for obtaining pleasure, framed in a materialistic system that gives worship to the body and the senses. Moreover, procreation is historically taken for granted as a natural evolution in the course of a human adult vital choices.

Therefore, something must go wrong with a woman who decides on alternative vital options to motherhood. Of course, almost certainly, your entire system must be dysfunctional if you voluntarily rule out sexual activity (so natural, so biologically programmed and therefore weighted as wholesome).

A woman who dedicates herself to religious life and leaves as a legacy the offering of her years of service and contemplation is a woman sentenced as bitter, apathetic, imprisoned, bored, lonely. Surely more alone than the woman who chose to follow the mandate of being wife and mother: professional, accomplished, "successful"... "free."

Woman who decides to deviate or to rise above the mandate is woman harassed by the ridicule and the scorn of the society; and often, the rejection of her own family.
But inevitably she will also be a whole woman, because she has not rejected herself.


BIOLOGICAL DETERMINISM OR POSSIBILITY OF SPIRITUAL (MENTAL) DEVELOPMENT?

The nature of the mind lacks attributes of color, form, aroma, taste; the mind lacks gender. However, in certain life, karmic causes and conditions are arranged to make it become embodied with certain attributes, such as that of a conventionally male or female gender. And although the developmental potential of the mind can not be circumscribed to biology, biology can be at the service of its unfolding.

If the biology of being a woman endows me with the possibility of motherhood, I am therefore more disposed to manifest certain attributes of the mind, such as compassion.
Some of the questions that we can ask ourselves as women are:

In what way do I choose to display such potential?

What do I consciously decide to give life to?

Who / what do I allow to come into my body?

What do I consciously decide to incubate in my Womb (the one of my body, and the inner, imperceptible to the senses)?

I believe that the revolution in defying biological mandates and predeterminations lies in encouraging us to explore how we can reverse the linear thinking process to which the system predisposes us.

The crucial question is how we can put biology at the service of the potential of the mind. And not the other way around.

We enter reality with the complexity of the spider that weaves and unleashes its own creative wonder, its niche that is space of both death and nutrition.

We compose poetry that stirs up commotion in the entrails of Man.

We boil the fear in the broth of maternal courage, that urges us to the fertilization of Menaing, in the body and the timeless heresy to intuit that what lives hidden under the rigor of reason.

We have raised the children of yesterday and we will raise the future offsprings: the compassionate legacies of lives dedicated to alleviating the suffering of the world.

We are more than breasts containing milk that is ointment of vulnerability; more than the breasts pushed up to be desired.

We are the Voice of religion: the one that re-links with the deep, with the underlying, with the Essential.

We are the Life decided to incubate itself, but also the freedom of how to make this possibility ripen.

 

What quality, what freedom do you celebrate today?

What makes you a woman?

 Florishing at the shore of Vastness. Sri Lanka, 2016

Florishing at the shore of Vastness. Sri Lanka, 2016